-In which our hero gets threatened by his grandmother and sees Jim Carrey instead of strippers

I say part 1 because I have no idea how long it will be or how much patience I'll have to write it right now, but here goes.

The lead-up to the wedding started in earnest on Thursday, May 22, my last day of work before taking over a week off. We arranged to have dinner with my family who was coming in from out of town, my Uncle David and Aunt Dawn, cousins Josh and Asher and Grandma and Grandpa. We went to a Mexican restaurant, even though my grandfather has somehow managed to go his entire life without eating Mexican food. There was the typical yelling and noise when that side of my family gets together, prompting me to say to my cousin, "You know, when Brooke's family gets together, it isn't like this." Brooke insists her family is crazy in its own way, though.

After dinner, the waiter hands the bill to my uncle, who puts his card in it and hands it back. He passes it over the head of my grandma, who had previously said she was taking us out to dinner. On its way over her head, my grandmother grabs the bill, wrestling it away from the waiter and knocking my Uncle's credit card to the ground, a look of steely determination on her face as she puts in her own card to pay for dinner. Outside the restaurant, my grandma tries to gather everyone around for a picture. As I watch my uncle try to round up my little cousins and see Brooke shivering in the wind beside me, I announce that any pictures will be taken at home and not in front of the restaurant. My grandmother shouts "No!" My Aunt and I shout "Yes!" In unison. Then, my grandmother tells me "You'll pay for this."

Yes, my sweet little old grandmother tells me that I'll pay for this. As we get into our cars, I roll down my window and say to her "Grandma?", tilting my head at an irresistibly puppy-like angle. She says, simply, "Watch out." I'm terrified.

She apologizes later, and later tells me that she could hardly sleep that night because she felt so bad. I don't quite get it. There's more going on than the picture thing. I'm the first grandchild to get married an I think it's a little weird for her. The next day is spent madly trying to print up programs for the wedding, which isn't even worth going into. Suffice to say that after much trials and tribulations we did a bang-up job, and I"m not sure if they were actually given out at the wedding or not.

That night, however, was my bachelor party. The plan that Andy, my best man, had formulated involved going Go-Karting (not the kiddy kind. Go-Karts that go 60 miles an hour) and then retiring somewhere for dinner and drinks, probably Friday's because I'm a man of simple tastes. Unfortunately, Go-Karting was called on account of rain, so we were left scrambling for something else to do. We elected to go to Friday's first, and then do some drunken laser tag in the mall and finally maybe see a movie. We waited for everyone to arrive (everyone being myself, Andy, Josh, Zach, Jon, and my brother) and then piled into Josh's van to head to Middletown. Unfortunately, Dan had not yet shown up, reminding us all once again why it's incredibly important to own a cell phone. Trusting that Dan would make his way somehow, we headed off to the mall.

When we got to Friday's (Dan had called me on the way over from a payphone in Goshen. We gave him directions and he met us) there was a 45 minute wait, which we spent outside in the cold and rain. I'm not quite sure why. It sure was nice to see everyone again, though, especially people like Josh, who I haven't seen much since his wedding, if at all, and Dan, who I hadn't seen in a full year. During this waiting period, Rob from work also showed up, virtually missing the entire waiting in the rain period by virtue of missing his exit.

During dinner we ate like Fridays kings, and I indulged shamelessly in all sorts of girl drinks in all sorts of shades of both bright green and bright blue. The original plan of eat and drink and then play drunken laser tag had to be ammended as the eating and drinking wore on, and laser tag drew closer to closing and the movie we had tickets for drew nigh. So, we ate and drank mightily, and then headed over to the mall to see our movie, Bruce Almighty. One word - don't. See if you can watch the Steve Carrell clip, and then you've seen the best part of the movie.

Unfortunately, now I have to go back to work. Tune in next time for the continuing adventures of the bachelor party (yes, there's more!), the further adventures of the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, and the adventurous adventures of the wedding. Til then, take care!