And a little Halloween goodness for you all. Happy candy eating!

BU sex sting results in bathroom arrests

According to Boston University Police Department Sergeant Jack St. Hilaire, several men have been arrested this school year for engaging in explicit homosexual acts in BU buildings.
"Approximately 30 individuals have been arrested for open and gross behavior, which is indecent exposure, or lewd and lascivious behavior," St. Hilaire said. "Approximately 50 people have been arrested in the past two years."
The arrests have primarily taken place in the men's bathrooms of the College of Arts and Sciences after complaints by students and professors alerted the BUPD to the problem, according to St. Hilaire.
"An everyday student or professor comes in, sees or hears indecent activity and reports it to us," St. Hilaire said. "There have been no complaints from the women's bathrooms."
A website, www.cruisingforsex.com, also alerted police to hotbeds of homosexual activity on the BU campus after the site name was written on the CAS bathroom walls. The website posts a "Privacy Policy," which forbids law enforcement to enter; however, St. Hilaire regarded this statement as a disclaimer that cannot prevent police from entering.
"Obviously if the site is giving information, then it's part of our responsibility to investigate those locations for the safety of our students," St. Hilaire said. "They were just trying to set up a defense, a disclaimer to protect from any unwanted litigation. If the website was participating in any illegal activities, it could not preclude the police from investigating."
Cruisingforsex.com posts comments concerning several BU properties. The men's bathrooms on the third, second and basement floors of CAS are places for sexual activity according to the website, as well as the Case Center Gym male locker room and Mugar Library men's bathrooms.
St. Hilaire said a few complaints had been received from the Case Center but no arrests, and no complaints had been received from the Mugar Library.
Several members of the site remarked upon police presence in the CAS building.
"Cops are investigating and patrolling the third floor of BU Arts and Sciences Building. That was to be expected, after all, I've seen a few guys, who are not of college age, just hanging around the urinals and toilets up on that floor for hours on end," a March 2002 message read. "They stupidly acted like leeches or maybe they felt it was their territory. Now the place is under surveillance."
Some members of the website have been questioned by police, according to the website.
"I've twice seen uniformed officers approach one of the above-mentioned bathrooms or enter them," a message posted in March 2002 read. "Last week, I was stopped by a young undercover who flashed his badge and had another young undercover with him. I had a reasonable excuse for them so they told me to use a bathroom at a nearby Burger King instead."
Yet some members of the site still believe BU is a prime stop for bathroom sex as of September 2002.
"Despite all the warnings, this place is still the best place for young action. If you're a [sic] too old then don't bother," a September message read. "It's obvious you're out of place here and you will be harassed by the police."
Other area schools listed on the website as sites for homosexual activity include Boston College, Brandeis University, Bunker Hill Community College, Harvard University, Lesley College, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Northeastern University, Roxbury Community College, and Tufts University.
Complaints concerning BU properties peaked in the spring of 2002, according to St. Hilaire, and undercover police were put on the site at that time.
"We looked into it and made several arrests, put plainclothes officers in, and since then the activity has subsided," St. Hilaire said. "The police department regularly sends out plainclothes for alcohol control, that type of duty."
St. Hilaire said undercover officers encountered men who were obvious in their intentions for homosexual activity.
"The person would open the stall door and stare, if someone was using the stall next to them they'd use hand signals," St. Hilaire said. "They were basically saying, 'If you want it, I'm here.' Really no tactics were used in the undercover work, just common sense. We'd observe a person go into the bathroom and stay for an hour."
St. Hilaire said students should not be concerned for their safety in these bathrooms.
"The issue doesn't involve public safety. I'd describe this more as a public nuisance and annoyance," he said. "If I just wanted to go in there and wash my hands, to be solicited is an annoyance."
According to St. Hilaire, the majority of people arrested have not been BU students.
"Normally, it's people who are not affiliated with the university," St. Hilaire said. "Only a few people have been arrested that are affiliated."
Some reasons that individuals might frequent the CAS building is that it is "a public bathroom, big building and it has a close proximity to the T," St. Hilaire said. "People just get off the T and go in."
The BUPD does not consider this a significant issue, St. Hilaire said.
"We don't think this is a big problem, it has been a common activity for awhile, but I wouldn't say it's an epidemic," St. Hilaire said. "We'll continue to police the area."
Students, while taken aback with news of the subject, said they still believe that it happens and that BU's city campus may also contribute to the activity, according to College of Communication freshman Erik Dawson.
"It's accessible to the public, on the outskirts of the city, and not a place police would patrol that often," Dawson said. "Maybe they feel safe."
However, he believes that the arrests reflect a worthwhile effort on behalf of the BUPD to halt the homosexual activity.
"I think that the arrests show that BUPD is doing something to stop this public indecency," Dawson said.
School of Management junior Dustin Clevenger was disturbed by the accessibility to BU buildings by non-BU students.
"It's absurd and disgusting really, the fact that random people can come onto our campus to do this shouldn't even be an issue, but it sounds like BU is doing the right thing," Clevenger said. "BU students shouldn't be exposed to that stuff. I have nothing against homosexuality but I find it upsetting that complete strangers, non-BU students have access to these places."
Megan Jacobs, a CAS freshman, said she was not aware of any homosexual activity in the library bathrooms.
"I work security at the library, and I've never heard of that, but wallets get stolen," Jacobs said. "I think they should focus more on those kind of problems."

Sometime this week, in honor of one of my favorite holidays, I've got to watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas". Man, what a good movie. I suggest you watch it this week, too. Not tonight though, because tonight is the season premiere of 24 (brought to you without commercial interruption by Ford)! Catch all the real-time madness at 9 eastern on Fox. Last season, the makers of 24 proved they could write weekly cliffhangers that would cause everyone watching to scream at the sheer tension of it all and the thought of having to wait another week to see how it works out. Can they bring back the magic this year? I'll sure as hell be watching to find out.

In another Halloween tradition, I'm hereby reprinting my Halloween column from last year, already the most reprinted of all my columns, having appeared in college newspapers in Kentucky, California, Florida and others (it's true). As an ironic postscript, I never did end up trick or treating last year. Anyway, enjoy the creatively titled (by my editor) "Trick-or-Treating College Style"

The days are getting shorter, the leaves are changing colors and I've already lost interest in all my classes. That can only mean it's October.

I love October, because to me it's synonymous with my favorite non-present-based, non-feast-based holiday: Halloween. What can I say? Presents and feasts kick ass, but Halloween kicks ass too. That's why, despite all my friends, family and social instincts telling me not to — I plan on going trick-or-treating this year.

You remember trick-or-treating, don't you? The brisk night air. The costumes. The thrill of running around after dark with your friends. The thrill of getting chased by bigger kids with shaving cream cans. The thrill of growing up, being rich and famous and seeing those same shaving cream kids offer you a shoeshine at a bus stop. All of these thrills made Halloween fun. But they simply can't hold a candle to the candy.

Candy is delicious. No one's going to argue that with me. The only hassle about candy is having to pay for it. If only there was some way to get candy for free. Oh, why can't there be some way — oh wait there is. It's called trick-or-treating. I think all you naysayers who scoff at me for wanting to go trick-or-treating this year should pause for a moment and reflect on that concept. Free candy. Is there ever an age where you outgrow free candy? Maybe when you're 70-communist. I rest my case.

That said, your senior year of college is probably the last time you can go trick-or-treating without it being just plain sad. That's why I have to go this year. Before I came to college, I had never missed a year of trick-or-treating. Even the year when the only person who would go with me was my one lame friend. No, really, she was lame. She had broken her ankle getting off the school bus. But we still went trick-or-treating, with me pulling her around the neighborhood in a wagon. I was dressed as an apple seller and she was an apple.

However, when I came to college, I found people's priorities had changed. No one seemed to want to go trick-or-treating. So I did something I will regret for the rest of my life: I skipped a year. I didn't go. The world that night was divided into the free-candyful and the free-candyless, and I belonged to the latter. The next year, however, I was able to rally a group of my friends to go. Even I was amazed by the response we got as we made our way through our Brookline neighborhood. Only one person said, "Aren't you a little old for this?" The lady at the first house we went to even said she hoped her children were still trick-or-treating when they were our age. It was a great time, until my friends started setting themselves on fire on people's lawns.

You see, trick-or-treating is too often confused in people's minds with vandalism. The popular opinion goes that once you reach a certain age, you graduate from getting candy to knocking over trash cans, pouring liquid latex in car locks and holding up old people for their OxyContin. But where's the fun in that? Any night of the year you can put toilet paper in someone's tree. But I defy you to ring someone's doorbell in June and ask him or her for candy. They just won't give it to you — even if you're wearing a hockey mask — especially if you're wearing a hockey mask.

This is why Halloween is special and sacred and that's why I have to go. Sure, you'll find some religious types saying that it's immoral to dress up as demons and witches, but it's untrue. The real monsters of Halloween are the people who give out pennies, or bags of popcorn, or, god forbid, Mary Janes. Those people are sick. And don't even get me started on the people who turn out their lights and pretend to not be home. Who do you think you're fooling? If I were the egging type, you'd be the first against the wall.

Hey, doesn't all this talk of eggings and disgusting, vaguely peanut-based candy make you long for your own bygone days of trick-or-treating? Then indulge that feeling! Trick-or-treat this year. What's the worst that can happen? OK, there's a lot that could go wrong — from getting arrested to getting hit by a car to public humiliation in front of everyone you hold dear. But isn't it worth it for free candy? No? Well, more for me then. I may look ridiculous come Halloween night, but I'll have a sack full of smiles. And another sack full of candy. Mwa-ha-ha!

Man, nothing I enjoy more than reliving past glories. By the way, on the list of things I learned this weekend from yesterday, I forgot to mention that I learned that bowling should only be attempted in combination with beer. That was truly a crucial discovery. Anyone else have any nuggets of wisdom they'd like to share?

Mere minutes after talking to Josh on the phone today and pondering "What ever happened to Olog?" I ran into Pete McClain, who informed me that Olog is engaged. So, congratulations Olog.

This got me thinking, though, and waxing nostalgic, so I decided to take advantage of our national lack of privacy to do some Google spying on some people. Here's what I found, and a few other things I discovered this weekend:

As of last year, Obie looks like this.

There's a lot of professional athletes with the same name as my friends, complicating things.

I get a lot more web hits than most of the people I know. Yay, life in the public eye!

Google searching is harder than it looks.

I'd pay someone if they could tell me how Scott Widabourne's name was spelled.

Horror convention goers are much, much scarier than comic convention goers.

Target has a good everyday price on delicious Freschetta pizzas.

Olog is getting married. Did I mention that one already?

This weekend I'm going to a horror convention with dad (Hey, why the heck not?) and I'm going to attempt to add "celebrity interviewer" to my resume by getting an interview with Nichelle Nichols. I'll let you know how it goes.

I'll tell you, Matty J really has this journal thing down. His conversations with other people are always hysterical, and the one he has today with our beloved Chief Moose is no exception. For the record, I agree with Mr. Moose. Rum and Coke is delicious. And effective! I've had the most luck geting pleasantly intoxicated without negative side effects when I stick to rum and Coke. God bless it.

Speaking of which, I don't understand why there are bars in the suburbs. When I was in Boston if I wanted to to to a bar I'd walk over, and then several hours later I'd stumble home at little danger to myself or others. (Although there was that one time I remember running REALLY fast because I had to pee. From what I can remember, I was running a lot faster than my brain was processing what was happening, so I'm surprised I didn't fall and injure myself). If you want to go to a bar in the suburbs, though, it's a whole big production. Who's going to drive? How much can they drink? How long do you have to wait after they drink until you can leave. No thank you. When it comes to drinking outside the city, give me someone's house and a couch I can crash on.

Of course, my feelings on drinking have never been the same since that time I turned into a zombie.

I've been really dependent on caffeine lately, but as far as I can tell the only alternative is to get more sleep, and that just doesn't seem feasible.

I think what really wears me out is my drive home. I don't mind the commute, but it really tires me out. I suppose it would have been nice to move closer to work instead of staying in Goshen, but it would have been far too cost prohibitive.

By the way, Hell has frozen over.

If you don't feel like registering (and I don't blame you) that says that BU changed the guest policy. Just a little bit though. Overlord Silber once promised that students could rot (later "clarified" as "riot") until Hell freezes over and the guest policy would not change. I would like to commend the BU student government though my life, as always, remains unaffected.

Unaffected by that, at least. I'm nervous about the changed my life will go through when I get my own place. Not the least of which that I'll have to start cooking for myself again. Don't laugh. A good deal of my life revolves around food. A good deal.

I have a good idea for a magazine. It would be called Dorkwad, and it would be like Maxim except for geeks. But not Star Trek geeks. Geeks who think they're cool. It would cover movies, music, comics, video games, gadgets, and assorted other lifestyle type things. You know people would buy it. There's tons of people out there who don't fit into the Maxim mold of what a man is, but who want to feel like they're superior to everyone else, and you need a magazine to do it. Maybe. In my mind right now, it makes perfect sense. Please don't steal my idea.

I'm pretty bored right now, but more to the point I'm boring. I have nothing to say. I'm trying to avoid these "posting for the sake of posting" posts, but then I look at my sitemeter stats and see there's a few people an hour checking me out and I feel I should have fresh material for them. I'm a slave to the public.

I aplogize for the lameness.

It's done. My lovely fiancee also has impeccable credit, and all that remains now is to bring in a deposit tomorrow and then I will officialy be a grown-up, if I'm understanding this correctly. I thought I was officially a grown-up after my Bar Mitzvah, but it turned out to be a false alarm. I got closer when I got my own business cards and health insurance earlier this year, but I lost points for still living in my mother's basement. Well no more!

Though I am moving out, I'm only moving about 5 minutes away. This means I will return home (or to Brooke's home) to eat, do laundry, watch TV or look after the dog more often than not. But I'll finally have my own personal space, shared with another person of course.

I picked up Slanted and Enchanted: Luxe and Reduxe today, but opted to simply add the DVD to my wishlist because I'm going to be plunking down upwards of $2,000 all in one place very, very soon.

I talked to Andy on the phone yesterday. He interviewed for a job, heard nothing at all from them for two and a half months, and then got the job, which is crazy. Congratulations, Andy. I guess you're grown up now too.

Scary, man.

Ordinarily I have less than no interest in baseball, but that all changes when the World Series could net me free tacos!

...out of my mother's basement. To our de-luxe apartment in...someone else's basement.

Yes, after many months of free room and board and free meals and carefree, no-worries living, I'm moving out into the real world. Why?

...

Hold on, I'm sure I had a good reason...

Oh, right, because I shouldn't be living in my mother's basement anymore. Anyway, (pending credit check) Brooke and I have found an apartment in Goshen. It's nice because it's relatively cheap and kind of charming. Its drawbacks are that it's kind of old and the bathroom sink is in the bedroom and it used to be a hospital so I'm scared of ghosts (this may or may not have something to do with my seeing The Ring this weekend, which is a movie you should see if you hate yourself and want to be frightened terribly).

Also, Brooke's mother was born in the building. Take it for what you will.

Best of all though, we're in good old Goshen! That means an ever-so-slightly shorter commute, two sets of parents just minutes away, and a wonderful public school system. If there were still a supermarket in Goshen, we'd be able to walk to it. But there isn't.

Anyway, it's not finalized yet (and I'm probably jinxing myself by mentioning it) but I wanted to let you know. Becaue I'm going to ask each and every one of you to help me move. That's right. You.

It just occurred to me that I should probably write about the story of how my life may be threatened by Snoop Dogg.

It all started with the Snoop Dogg action figure. To capitalize on the Snoop figure, and in an attempt to get some interesting content, in our newest issue we have a fairly large interview with Snoop Dogg, which is an unusal thing for a toy magazine to have, but we're all pretty pleased with it. Apparently, so was Snoop Dogg, because he asked for about 50 of them to be distributed to his handlers and posse, etc.

Now, shortly after I put in the request for the magazines to be sent out, the staff writer who wrote the piece came running up. He noticed something in our masthead, which is the staff listing of the magazine. It's my duty to come up with a joke for every masthead to make it interesting, and for this issue I chose to randomly insert famous rappers into the staff listing. (It was called M to the Izzasthead).

The writer, however, noticed that I had put, underneath the editor's name "CEO, DEATHROW RECORDS Suge Knight". He came rushing in to inform us that Snoop and Suge have had a monumental falling out and have, apparently, shot at each other, and therefore Mr. Dogg might not be amused to find his name in the magazine. This then provoked much speculation that Snoop might visit our offices, looking for the man who wrote it with vengeance on his mind.

My fears are pretty much allayed by the fact that I can't ever, in a million years, imagine a situation wherein Snoop Dogg would be reading the masthead. The odds go up when you factor in 50 posse members, however. If he does show up, however, we have a plan.

We're going to blame it on the intern.

There's this very strange dichotomy that exists in my office, where the downstairs people (the creative types) are very young, reasonably hip (for dorks) and terribly paid, whereas the upstairs people (the business types) are rich, stuffy and middle-aged, and as a result there's very little interaction between the two groups. There's a group of upstairs women who eat together in the lunch room every day and when I walk past them it's like I'm encountering another species. It's really weird.

This weekend, for the first time in a while, both Brooke and I have the whole thing off. While this may be a wonderful opportunity to go away for a bit, we're both poor and we have no plans right now. Not that the weekend will neccesarily be boring. We just don't have any definite plans right now. So the sky's the limit!

Damn, the Japanese make a delicious instant miso soup.

Mysteriously, Karl seems to have a different IP address than Matt. Hmmm...

I got the new Ben Folds album during a soul-healing trip to the mall last night (not too often you hear that phrase, is it?) and was surprised that all the tracks are just Ben, live, with his piano. no band. It's actually pretty refreshing, though, and he has to have the best-harmonizing fans in the biz because the crowd sings backup on some songs. There's also a DVD I'm looking forward to watching, since some of the tracks were recorded at one of my favorite Boston clubs, Avalon.

I just thought of something else to write, but I'm going to make it a seperate post, that you'll probably end up reading first. Suckas!

I don't usually like to pinch links from Matt, but this is just the funniest thing ever, especially if you ever wondered what happened to Poppa Smurf after the end of the show.

I was incredibly psyched today to find out that not only is Pavement's seminal "Slanted and Enchanted" getting a re-release next week (I had just been thinking about replacing the Pavement albums I have on tape with CDs. I was more excited about the prospect of Crooked Rain, Crooken Rain and Wowee Zowee, but oh well), but it's going to be a new special edition with two disks and 48 tracks, which is ridiculous. Furthermore, there will be a simultaneous release with Pavement's long-awaited DVD "Slow Century", which contains all of their videos. I'm so psyched, and I'm going to be so broke. I was not psyched, however, that Best Buy was sold out of the new Ben Folds live CD. I demand new music!

The company I work for is called Wizard Entertainment. When I call Brooke from work, her caller ID says "Entertainment, Wizard". Therefore it looks like she's getting a call from the Entertainment Wizard.

...

Trust me, it's cute.

You might have noticed the counter on the upper-right hand side of the site. I added that to reinforce my theory that no one reads this thing. I then barred my own ip address from registering in order to avoid ridiculously inflating the results, because I check this site a lot. Even when I haven't posted anything in 4 days (sorry about that) I check to see if anyone commented. Anyone but Karl. Melissa, who didn't know me in high school, asked who that "Karl" person is. Suffice it to say, folks, that he's an inside joke that took on a life of his own, much like in Stephen King's "The Dark Half", although an inside joke, not a pen name. and he doesn't commit murder. Yet. My question is, what changes can I implement to get you, the viewing public, to drive that counter up into the sky?

I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but I still can't see my picture. I'm sorry for everyone trying to see it, although apparently some people can. On a related note, I promise to shut up about my hair unless I get it cut further (which I just might), at which point I will futilely try to post another picture and fail miserably.

I was having such a good day (apart from my monstrous headache) until I realized I forgot to set my VCR to tape Deuce on The Price is Right. If anybody set their VCR to tape Price is Right today for any reasons, please let me borrow it. No questions asked.

If anyone out there cares about this sort of thing at all, ToyFare is doing an exclusive Faker figure from the new Masters of the Universe line of awesome toys. You might remember Faker as a blue He-Man with orange hair. Either way, we're very excited about him and I can't wait to get my hands on one. By the way, in case you were wondering, the building I'm sitting in is the largest collection of dork energy on the entire East Coast. I don't know where the honor falls on the West Coast, but it's probably the production offices of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or something like that.

So, this weekend, Matt Jankowski went to Vermont. Whether or not this is a condemnation of what I've been doing with my site, I have yet to figure out. I haven't seen Matt since he moved to New Roc City, but I had passes for a screening of I Spy over there last week that I should have given him. It has Owen Wilson in it.

I also haven't been back to Boston since graduating, except for once when I was there for literally two or three hours (awake). Which means that the only friends I've seen since the end of the summer are the ToyFare guys and the occasional odd run-in in the mall. I saw Bill Greene this weekend. Brooke found him first. Apparently she saw him in her chocolate store and said "Weren't you in Fiddler? I'm engaged to Motel!" That's not something you get to say every day.

In the embarassing moment department, apparently yesterday I walked into Brooke's chocolate store with a dozen roses mere moments after some strange demin-clad kid had asked her out on a date. I was blissfully unaware, of course, but it was awkward for everyone else. Needless to say, she chose me. Roses beat denim every time.

Looking back on things in general, I'm one incredibly lucky bastard. Thank God.

I know people were having trouble seeing the haircut picture. And I know that people actually want to see this. So I put a link to it on my homepage. Check it out, and this time let me know what you think.

One week ago, Matt said this:

Today's announcement is that Eric Furst and Justin Aclin have "joined the bigwhoop.org family". To the extent that anyone can actually do that.

They're still experimenting with the software and "moving in" so to speak, so don't expect works-of-art just yet. On the other hand, if, a week from now, their creative juices aren't bawling you over, I'll eat my hat. Or I'll go to Vermont.

So what do you think, folks? Should Matt pack his bags or break out the hat tabasco?

Also, update on today's earlier story: After conditioning, my hair is much bigger and less greasy looking than it was last night. It's kind of feminine looking now. We'll have to deal with that...

...and that's a pretty nice hair cut.

Well, after years of corporate pressure (just kidding) I finally caved in and cut my hair. I wouldn't consider it short, but it's certainly shorter than it has been in at least seven years.

I'm still trying to figure out what to do with it and in fact I might end up going shorter, but at the moment it's kind of a messy alt-rock Prince Valiant kind of thing.

You can see it here.

Let me know what you think.

Maybe it's just me, but I find this hysterical.

A little bit of background info for those of you not familiar with BU (or my column), John Silber is the cartoonish supervillain who ran BU as its Chancellor before stepping up to become its acting president again this year. Mere days after the start of the school year, he angered everybody by disbanding the Gay-Straight Alliance (a group that sought to teach tolerance and respect) at the high school that BU owns, later making unbelievably insensitive comments and believing everyone who disagreed with him is wrong and stupid (the single best argument technique ever invented).

While I find the idea of School of Management students trying to make a quick buck and pass it off as political action hilarious, I'm ambivalent as to whether Silber should actually be fired. On the one hand, it would be the single greatest thing Boston University could do. On the other hand, what would I and the hundreds of thousands of BU students and alumni have to complain about? Prior to going to BU, I had never before had any experience with a real cartoonish supervillain. Now I can safely say that it's a trying, yet rewarding experience.

Therefore, yes, I am coming out partially in favor of keeping a mad tyrant in power merely because of the comedic pontential. Of course, by my logic, I should vote for Bush in the next election. Unless someone even funnier runs against him, like Dan Quayle, Marion Barry or Jesse Ventura. We'll have to see...

The sad thing is, if I didn't have Brooke and a job, I could see myself doing this.

I should be a profiler for the FBI. Yesterday I was thinking to myself that this sniper was probably killing people in such a fashion because he has a god complex (not that I normaly spend a lot of time thinking about serial killers, mind you...) and today it comes out that they found a death Tarot card at the crime-scene with "Dear policeman- I am God" written on it. Which, at this point, almost seems a little too much. I mean, yesterday I said that I thought this would make a fascinating movie. Now it seems like this guy's thinking the same thing.

On an utterly unrelated note, happy birthday to my mom. She turns 35 today. At least, that's what she keeps telling me. Also, the new ToyFare is out in comic shops today. Buy it. I don't get any more money if you do than if you don't, but it certainly can't hurt.

I almost found myself signing up for some sort of "humorous thing" mailing list today, specifically so I would have more interesting content for this site. Then I thought that cheaters never win. Then I questioned the relevance of that statement in regards to the train of thought I was having.

In just a few minutes, I'll be making my lunchtime comic book shop/Toys "R" Us run. Bow down before me, king of the dorks! Actually, there's several ToyFare employees going, so it's more like an oligarchy of dorks.

It's one of those days where I just can't seem to get started. I don't know whether this has to do with the fact that my boss isn't in this morning, or becaue my early morning Great Escape escapades have drained me. All I know is that I had the impression earlier that today was Thursday, and that's never a good sign on a Tuesday.

On a related note (not really) I find this sniper thing down in Maryland both fascinating and terrifying, and for the same reasons for both. There's really no reason this guy is doing this. God help me, it seems like the kind of thing I'd like to see a movie about. It's terrible that it's happening, it's just so damn interesting!

As long as I'm talking about current events, does anyone else think Bush seems a little too eager to go to war with Iraq? He reminds me of a dog who needs to go out. He just seems really yippy, metaphorically speaking.

And finally, I'd just like to say, "Joooooooooooosh?"

Someone keeps posting the same comment over and over. And I think it's Matt. Because it isn't Josh, and no one else knows that joke.

Meanwhile, no one else is commenting. What's the point of exposing yourself to voyeurism if no one's looking? I need to start telling more people about this site, which is cheesy, but...well, no but, it's cheesy.

If you've ever asked yourself that question (about me) here's your answer, courtesy of an online psychiatry test:

I'm only surprised that I'm not more narcissistic than that. Thanks, Deuce for the link.

I spent a good deal of yesterday at the mall, and just like all days at the mall, I learned a lot about our society. Specifically, yesterday I learned a little something about cell phones.

Now, my feelings about cell phones are well documented, but there's something new out there I want to comment on. Apparently, teenagers are now using direct connect, which is a cell phone that also features a walky talky function. I'd seen these before, usually carried by construction workers, but now it's spread to our nation's youth as well. In my opinion, there's a simple reason for this: Ostentatiousness.

Quite simply, cell phones aren't as ostentatious as they once were. At one point in time a teenager could get all the attention he or she craved simply by walking around a mall carrying on a conversation on a cell phone. Now, old ladies are doing that, and it's just not annoying enough to get attention. Enter direct connect.

There are a couple key differences between cell phones and direct connect. Since it's a walky talky, the voice of the other party comes loudly out into the world, rather than through an earpiece. It's also preceded by a loud beep. Furthermore, replies are shouted into the mouthpiece, rather than spoken in, once again a la walky talkies.

You can see how this would garner more attention than a regular cell phone. Consider the following conversation, designed to create maximum uncomfortableness for people within earshot.

Cell Phone:
Teen in mall- You're kidding! She let him put it in there?

Direct connect:
Teen in mall-YOU'RE KIDDING! SHE LET HIM PUT IT IN THERE?!?
Phone-BEEP!
Teen in other mall- YEAH! AND WITHOUT LUBE!

Obviously, we've reached a whole new plateau.

Today, meanwhile, I learned that blackouts suck when you desperately want to use your Playstation 2 or post your wry observations online.

If the name of this forum were still "Things I Wrote During Lunch," this would be the first appropriate post. As it is, I have yet to post something apporpriate to the new title, the significance of which I could explain now, or pull a Matty J and wait a year or two. We'll see what the viewing public demands, or, in fact, if there is a viewing public.

Meanwhile, I've been listening to the soundtrack to About a Boy a lot. I listened to it all the way through on the way home yesterday (without switching over to the radio once, a true oddity) and then let it cycle back and started listening again. It's truly a fantastic piece of work by Badly Drawn Boy. I bought the new Beck album at the same time and I get the feeling I'll need some time to get into it (it's also a heartbreak album, and I'm not feeling the least bit heartbroken right now) but About a Boy was immediately accesible. The movie was also fantastic, and you should see it when it comes out on video, regardless of your feelings about Hugh Grant, the directors of American Pie, and movies without explosions.

I also finally got around to seeing My Big Fat Greek Wedding last night, which I really enjoyed. Unfortunately, since there was such a build up to it, I can't feel that it's a movie I discovered so I feel no sense of ownership toward it. With Amelie, people told me to go see it for a while, but I still had to go all the way to some rinky dink theatre and it really felt that it was Brooke and my movie. While I enjoyed this one a lot, it feels like it's America's movie.

Tonight I may go see the American Dub of Spirited Away with the ToyFare guys. It's got John Ratzenberger as a voice, so what more reason could I need?

I have absolutely no plans this weekend except to go see Brooke's dad and play a lot of Kingdom Hearts. Not that that's a bad thing. God, I love that game.

Thank you for your time.

My main worry about having this forum all to myself is that it might contribute to my raging egomania. As it is, I already post on several toy-related message boards, simply because I get to occasionally get treated like a celebrity. I'm forced to resort to this, of course, because no one else in the real world cares. So, thank you message board people, for making me feel special.

Not that I don't get enough validation in my day to day life, of course (I love you, honey.) I just want to be famous as well.

So, I still don't know exactly what tone this thing (I hesitate to call it a blog or a journal, because that implies a confessional tone that I really hope to avoid here in favor of emotionally detached ironic musings) will take.

In the mean time, I'll rip off Now Is the Time for Pants by posting weird links, like this one. Apparently, going wild just isn't newsworthy enough to film.

Already I'm disproving my own (hastily chosen) self-chosen name for this thing, because it's now well after lunch. And in fact, I have a lot of work to do. So I'll make this quick.

First off, thanks to Matt for setting this little shindig up. He's also given one of these to Eric, whom I remember as the kid who won geography bees and who doesn't seem to like my hair. Fair enough.

Anyway, with work a-callin', I'd just like to say stick with me because I'll get better. I promise.

So yeah, I have no idea what I'm doing. In fact, I want to change the name of this thing and I don't even know how to do it. Anyway... apparently I'll be writing on here when I have free time, and I hope it doesn't get me fired.

And further testing.

I swear, this is the last test.

Test