Today I got a free bottle of mint and lime flavored rum from Maxim Magazine! Don't ask me how. Because the answer is much lamer than whatever you're imagining.

My shmoozing lessons yesterday have left me cautiously optimistic. Now, I just have to put my money where my mouth is (or my hands are, I suppose) and write something that's worthy.

I'm flying to Kansas this weekend for my cousin's Bar Mitzvah, because that's where Bar Mitzvahs are held. Usual rules for flying apply - please wish me luck.

Na na na na na. Na na na na na. Na. Na.

That's enough of that. Anyway, I walked over 6 miles yesterday. That was fun. What a beautiful weekend. Why can't the weather always be sunny and cool, highs in the mid-seventies? That's how my perfect world would be.

I have a meeting scheduled on Wednesday to take shmoozing lessons. Hopefully, this will help me become a much better shmoozer and accomplish my goals. T-minus three months until the end of the year and I fail my goal of getting into comics by the end of the year.

My birthday is in 16 days or so. Start saving now!

Today is also my three month anniversary as Brooke's husband. Happy anniversary, my love! Only 400 or so to go!

I haven't seen a movie in the longest fucking time. If I don't see one soon my head's going to explode.

The journal interview experiment rules! Ask me for questions. If you don't have a journal, get one and then ask me for questions. It's fun to feel important!

The Futurama Season 2 DVD makes me so, so happy. "Wow, these are like sex, except I'm having them!"

My apologies to Deuce for not answering these earlier. I'm stupid. On a side-note, I'm kneeling in front of my desk writing this because my chair is covered with toys. Away we go!

1). If you had the ability to put your name in place of any author's on one piece of work in any medium and immediately get credit for it, what would that work be?

Honestly, I wouldn't want to, because I want to get credit for my own stuff, not someone esle's. However, if I could make it so that I had written something, I think it would be maybe Watchment, which is the best comic ever. I'm drawing a blank on a movie I'd like to have written.

2). You are famous, successful, and powerful. You fucking OWN this town, man. You have a secret list locked in a safe in your enormous office. What kind of list is it?

It's a list of things I have written, awards I've received and money that's rolling in.

3). Sorry, but I have to ask a SlowKids question. What was the best sketch from my last show? Did I act all right in it, or could you tell I wrote it? Because if not, you picked the wrong sketch.

Don't worry, my friend. Honestly, I remember liking a lot of sketches, but you know how bad my memory is - I couldn't even remember sketches I had written when we were speaking the other day. So, the only sketch that's sticking in my head right now, which I'm not sure if you wrote, was the Awesome Squad or whatever they were called, where you excelled as Professor Boring.

4). I stole this from Matt Kaszanek, but it's a great question: Which two washed up celebrities would you most like to see on the sidewalk in tattered clothes, full-on kicking the crap out of each other for a trivial reason while you drove by?

God. What a question. Nothing particularly funny or charming is coming to mind right now. Maybe Chevy Chase and Dan Ackroyd are fighting over who's to blame for that attrocious movie with the mutant babies.

5). Why is Scrimschander so misunderstood?

Scrimshander is misunderstoof because he works outside the constraints of traditional law enforcement. Though to some people this makes him a "loose cannon", he does what he needs to do to stop menaces like Madam Breast and Austrio. But when the chips are down, Scrimshander can be counted on to save the day, and to annoy the Chief.
His late partner helped as well.

THE RULES!
1 -- Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
2 -- I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.
3 -- You'll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.
4 -- You'll include this explanation.
5 -- You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed

It's the internet journal craze that's sweeping the nation or so I'm assured! Questions this time are courtesy of wolfhaus.

1. Dream artist illustrating your dream comic: who is it and what's he drawing?

I assume you mean dream comic for me to write. That's a toughy. I've always wanted to work on X-Men, but I suppose Spider-Man is a better fit for my sensibilities. As for dream artist...Let's see...I'm really into Art Adams these days. I bet he'd be a really good fit with my writing on a Spidey title.

2. Tell us poor bachelor slobs what the best part about being married is.

The best part is that I love my wife. The second best part is there's never a question of "Hey, what am I going to do tonight?" I'm going to be with my wife. Then the question becomes "What are WE going to do tonight," which is another story entirely.

3. Best American author?

I'm so woefully underread, especially for an English major. I haven't read more than a book or two from any major American writer, so while I really enjoy Gatsby and Catch 22, I can't safely say that Fitzgerald or Heller is my favorite.

My favorite American comic author, though, is Bendis, man. Bendis.

4. If you were a serial killer, what would be your gimmick?

I'd be an English professor who cut little pieces off my victims one by one, and I'd call myself the Deconstructionist. Thanks, Charlie Kaufman!

5. You knew it was coming; here it is - What superpower, and why?

I'd have to say long-distance teleportation, with telekinesis being a close second. Teleportation isn't as appealing now as it was when I was in a long-distance relationship, but it would still beat commuting every day.

THE RULES!
1 -- Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
2 -- I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.
3 -- You'll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.
4 -- You'll include this explanation.
5 -- You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed

And now, five questions for Wolf.

1) What's the greatest feeling you've ever had on stage.
2) Which would be better - Alan Moore writing Spider-Man, or Brian Michael Bendis writing Top 10?
3) What's the single greatest tip you could giveto a comic geek looking to change their image for the ladies?
4) What are three reasons why Slow Kids are so damn cool?
5) Right back atcha - Which superpowers?

OK, I absolutely promised Melissa that I'd update this thing, so here goes -
1) Operation Get a Life was proceeding nicely when it was put on hold yesterday by the biggest blackout in North American history. Still, If you have to be stymied by something, might as well be stymied by something big.
2) Everyone should follow the positive example set by Andy (happy belated birthday) and call me. It makes me happy. If you don't have my cell number (it was changed last October) email me.
3) I'm going out tonight to try to set one of Brooke's friends up with a guy I know. I am in no way looking forward to any part of it.
4) I'm going to my dad's tomorrow. That should be cool. Haven't seen little sis in a few weeks.
5) The wedding video is almost done. The wedding story, ironically, is still being worked on. I'll try to finish that up soon. Hopefully before my three month anniversary.
6) Today, my boss came into my office and asked me to commission a custom action figure of a certain second-rate Star Trek actor, naked. Sometimes I love my job.

Sorry for the double-post last time. I suppose I could go back and erase one of them, but I'm just that lazy.

Brooke rules. I don't say that nearly enough.

I'm going to a comic convention in Chicago this weekend. This will give me an opportunity to hopefully hang out with Ozmund Caprese for the first time in a long time. It will also hopefully give me an opporunity to kibitz, hobnob and otherwise shmooze with comics professionals as part of operation Get a Life.

I think it should be pointed out that, despite my utter desperation to be a comic book writer, I've never successfully written a comic book, and I'm not 100% convinced I can do it. Still, can't hurt to try, eh?