You ever have something really exciting that you want to talk about, say, on your web journal, but you can't for fear that getting too excited about it will jinx you and ruin any small, very small chance you actually may have of all your dreams coming true?
Yeah, I think we've all been there.

Yar! 'Tis "National Talk Like a Pirate Day", me hearties. But I'm not going to talk like a pirate when I answer these questions from the newly engaged Andy, savvy? Here we go.

1. Hey nerd! What's the deal with comics?

Comics themselves aren't inherently good. There's a lot of potential to the medium, and when they're good they're very, very good, and when they're bad they make you want to claw your eyes out. Comics have potential though because of the juxstaposition of the written word and visual images. Scott McCloud put it better than I ever could in his book "Understanding Comics", which is a very good read. Also, superheroes are cool because they're adolescent male escapist power fantasies, and couldn't we all use a little power and escape?

2. What were your proudest and most humbling Slow Kids moments?

Most humbling was probably before my very first Slow Kids performance, at parent's weekend. We were going to be doing a sketch I had written and I had absolutely no faith in my sketch or myself in any capacity. It turned out okay, but to this day it's the most stage fright I ever experienced.

Proudest was either a) Our senior show, which at the time just seemed like the best thing ever, b) Jeremiah Eagleeye, which was entirely conceived and executed by me and has an elegance to it that really resonates with people, or c) Opening for the Abbeys senior year. There's nothing like walking into a situation expecting to be hated by a thousand people and then they absolutely eat your shit up.

3. For all of us unbetrothed out there, how does getting married change things?

I think it depends on whether you lived together first. Not a lot has changed for Brooke and I. I feel closer to her, and I feel a lot more anxiety that somehow, someday I'm going to screw this up, but that's about it. Also, her name changed. That reminds me - Moran, Taylor, or Taylor-Moran?

4. What is your dream job?

My dream job is as follows - I live in a beachhouse with my family in an area where it's always 74 degrees, Farenheit. Every day I wake up and go down to the beach with my laptop, and sit on the beach and write comics, movies, TV shows and plays, which are then published and/or performed. I am famous enough to occasionally make it onto a magazine cover, but nowhere near famous enough to be put on a magazine cover if I don't want it.

5. If any of the Slow Kids alumni make it to the big time, would you try to work with them after their ascent? If yes, in what capacity?

The answer to that is Hells fucking yes. As Deuce has said, Slow Kids needs to be set up as an entertainment dynasty like the Harvard Lampoon, or Second City or the Groundlings. It needs to get to the point where when one of us makes it, the newspapers say "Former Slow Kid" and people understand what that means. That said, I will work with any of the Slow Kids who make it in any capacity, and I hope they feel the same about me.

I think this is safe to announce, so forgive me if it's not. I just wanted to wish a congratulations to two of my best friends in the world, Melissa and Andy, on their engagement yesterday!
Married life is great, kids. You'll dig it.

Thanks be to all who lavished me with praise as directed. The rest of you are to be court-marshalled.

I had as nice a birthday as can be expected considering I was monumentally busy at work. Brooke had class late last night, so I ended up having dinner with my Mom who, when you think about it, is sort of responsible for this whole birthday thing to begin with. Brooke did so much nice stuff for me this entire birthday week that I can't even begin to list it. Everyone should have a wife as great as her. Yes, even the ladies.

Just so you know, I won't remember your birdthday unless you make a big public stink about it like I did. So do.

Here's the conundrum - Next week my company is having a softball game against another company who I'd like to do some work with. Do I -
A) Play in the game, so that I can engage in male bonding with people who might give me work, or
B) NOT go to the game, because I will humiliate myself in front of everyone in both companies with my lack of athletic ability?

Feedback is welcome.

It's my birthday. Lavish me with praise! That's an order, soldier.

I have no idea why Rush just popped into my head, but I take it as a sign to use it for my enty title.

By writing this right now, I'm procrastinating from the writing I had been planning to do at lunch, thereby shooting myself in the foot, just when I need my foot the most. It reminds me of a New Year's resolution I once made that Dan Hoak had put on a t-shirt - "I will not let my laziness stand in the way of my potential." I never quite kept that resolution. As I've discovered with shocking clarity in the past week, when I showed just a little bit of initiative and had many, many doors at least semi-open for me. I really don't want to talk about any right now because it's so, so early in the game and I know I'll jinx myself. But the national mood right now is catgorized as "cautiously optimistic."

What I've learned so far more than anything is that to get ahead in life, you have to be shameless. Not shameless in the figurative sense, but to literally let go of your sense of shame. You have to say to yourself, "Say I call this guy and come off like a douchebag. That's still better than not calling this guy and not coming off like anything." It's a lesson I'm currently struggling with, because I hate feeling like a douchebag. Stay tuned!

Oh, what the hell. 5 questions for Andy:

1) If you could have the prowess of any one drummer from history, who would it be?

2) Are there any bands who you liked when they were obscure, then they got really big, and you still liked them? Why does the opposite so often seem to be the case.

3) Say something philosophical.

4) Melissa is the coolest girl in the world: Explain.

5) Slow Children at Play are invited to appear on Conan O'Brien. They only have time to do one sketch. What sketch is it, and who is the cast?

Yes, I'm back. Safe flights and all. Thank God. Being dead has got to suck.

Work is basically a stress factory right now, which is just great, and whenever I have free time I'm getting that familiar "Shouldn't you be writing?" feeling. Which is positive, but annoying because I can't really enjoy myself. I'd love to take a day or two off and just catch up on stuff I need to do. Perhaps I shall.

The answer to that feeling is yes. Yes, I should be writing.

I really miss having cats. There's nothing like petting a cat for what ails ya.

*Cheap humor opportunity alert* Anyone have a cat I can pet? *End of cheap humor opportunity*

Now, someone post a snarky comment that's NOT the obvious one and we'll all be very impressed.